Imma take a different approach and put on my psychology cap for a second. These past couple of weeks have taught me something heavy but true one person can completely change how you see the world or how you see them.
Some people crave validation so deeply that the moment your attention shifts, even just a little, their behavior turns histrionic. Suddenly it’s jealousy, dramatic reactions, little tantrums, mood swings all because they aren’t the center of your focus anymore. It’s like the whole universe has to orbit them, or everything falls apart.
People like this also tend to feel dominant in any situation like whatever you say, whatever boundary you set, whatever expectation you have doesn’t apply to them. They move through life with this mindset of, “I don’t have to do what you do. Your rules don’t apply to me.”
And trust me… Some friends operate from the same self-centered place, expecting you to bend while they refuse to meet you halfway.
But here’s the thing, that kind of response isn’t just insecurity. It’s a sign of someone who never learned to self-regulate emotionally. Someone who depends on others to feel seen instead of learning to see themselves. Someone who never stopped to understand that not every situation not every moment is about them.
And once you recognize that, you stop taking it personally. You naturally start to distance yourself from them, because you finally see that their reactions were never yours to carry. You stop holding the weight of someone else’s emotional immaturity the same weight you once thought you had to endure just because they were in your orbit. And slowly, you stop blaming yourself for responses that were never your responsibility in the first place.
Because at the end of the day, I’d rather be alone, or in a room full of people who genuinely support each other, than surrounded by anyone who feels the need to downgrade us just because we’re finally being seen.
Honestly, sometimes it’s not that you did anything wrong it’s that they never learned how to exist without being validated. And that realization?
It’s freeing.
Sincerely Me, Letters From the In-Between 